Blast From the Future
by singingauthoress
Summary: What happens when three fangirls get dropped into the world of Horatio Hornblower? Insanity of course! Along with romance, action, adventure, and a whole lot of fun!
1. Screens, SC's, and Sweeties!

Budding Authoress: I don't own Hornblower or any of those other guys. Maybe I'll own Ioan someday though... J.K.  
  
The identities of the girls in this story have been changed to protect their privacy.  
  
Singeractress14: Hey, 'tis me, and I'm just here to say bear with us! Maybe someday I'll own Archie... that would cost a lot though, so just enjoy the story and tell us whether we're insane or not! By the way, the order is Elizabeth, Natalie, and Lia chapter-wise, so don't say you're confused. For bios, go to our profile page, and check out our separate pages!  
  
Screens, SC's, and Sweeties  
  
Written By: Elizabeth  
  
It all started when we were all gushing over you-know-who in the first Hornblower episode. Lia, Natalie, and myself were all crowded around my laptop screen, making little kissy noises at a rather classic pose we had of our guy looking a little sad. I was scarlet in the face, per usual after making the traditional SC (stupid comment). This time, it was "Oh, you sexy man, work those eyes! Come on, melt me into a puddle of goo!" We were all giggling and probably very hyper, enjoying this time together.  
  
It was Lia who noticed it first. "Hey, what's that?"  
  
"What's what?" I asked, now snuggling the screen with my cheek. Natalie rolled her eyes and laughed.  
  
Lia pointed at three white shapes standing a little to the left of my cheek. "Those. They look like ghosts."  
  
Natalie reached out her hand and started to try to wipe the shapes away with a tissue. "They're probably just fingerprints or some..." She never finished the sentence, because next second she had lurched forward and disappeared into the screen. "Natalie!" Lia and I yelled, and we both frantically touched the area where she had disappeared. This was a really bad idea, because we both pitched forward too, and were swirling around as though we were in a dryer.  
  
It lasted for about thirty seconds. Next thing we knew, we were lying face down on a hard wooden surface. Natalie pulled us to our feet. "You guys ok?"  
  
"Yeah." I said, brushing myself off. "What happened?"  
  
"I don't know, but we're probably somewhere we shouldn't be." Lia said, turning around. She let out a bit of a gasp and she grabbed onto the nearest possible item to keep herself from falling: me. I looked past her to where she was looking, and my jaw dropped. It was Horatio, the man of my dreams.  
  
"No bleeping way!" I squawked. "Horatio, here? Then we must be..."  
  
Natalie stuck her head over the side of the ship. "Dude, it's the friggin' Indefatigable!"  
  
I nearly fainted. "What are we going to do?"  
  
Lia gave a wry smile. "Looks like we're about to find out."  
  
Horatio was coming our way. We all bit our lips to keep ourselves from giggling madly (or screaming, whatever you like) and straightened up to try to look dignified. Unfortunately, Lia and I were both wearing pants and I (oh dear) was sporting a t-shirt with the word "Paris" on it. Not a good thing to wear in the middle of a British ship.  
  
I was just contemplating the possibility of turning the shirt backwards when I heard the voice.  
  
"Excuse me, ladies, but where did you materialize from?"  
  
It was a gentle voice, British with a hint of Welsh strewn in. I slowly turned my green eyes up to meet those puppy-dog brown ones.   
  
He was looking at us with a mixture of curiosity and surprise. I will swear to God that I would probably have smooched him then and there had Lia let me go. As it was, I stayed where I was and let Lia answer.  
  
"We... we sort of just fell here." she said enthusiastically.  
  
Horatio cocked his head like a puppy would. I restrained myself from going "Awww." Horatio straightened again and turned from us.  
  
"Captain Pellew! I think you ought to see this!"  
  
Oh dang. Pellew would chuck us out. Or at the very least, yell at us. I conveyed my fears to the other girls in a whisper, and they too looked frightened; at least, until Pellew came our way.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Hornblower? What is...good Lord!" He sputtered, staring at us. This time, Natalie saved us.  
  
"Please sir, don't hurt us. We are three young girls who stowed away when you last docked!"  
  
I stared at her. Well, she wasn't an author for nothing, I suppose. Lia played into it.  
  
"Yes, we were orphans who couldn't stand life in the orphanage anymore. So we stowed away, and we just came on deck for a little fresh air! And to look for mermaids."  
  
I slapped my head, but Pellew seemed mollified. "Well, young ladies, I have no choice but let you stay until we dock. But if you break any of my rules, you will taste my wrath!" He turned on his heel and walked away. "And Mr. Hornblower, for God's sake get them some decent clothes. That tall one has "Frog" written all over her!"  
  
I knew at once he was talking about me. I was the one with the "Paris" shirt after all. Horatio turned his chocolate eyes on us again. "If you please, ladies, I will show you to some quarters."  
  
"But, sir!" Lia interjected, "What about our clothes?"  
  
Horatio looked at us, and a pink flush crept into his cheeks. "Well, er, we have no clothes suitable for women, much less for girls!"  
  
I think my brain shut off then, because an SC came tumbling out of my mouth. "Well, then, you'll just have to give me your spare uniform, won't you?"  
  
Horatio turned redder, and he fidgeted slightly. "Milady, I don't think it would be appropriate for you to..."  
  
"Darn it man!" I yelled, and Horatio jumped, "I look like a bloody frog! You heard the captain! I support the British with all my heart, and I do not wish to be suspected of being a spy! What choice do you have?!"  
  
Horatio was now scarlet. "Well, I, er, that is... Oh very well." and he led us up the deck. Natalie's eyes were the size of CD's. "Lordy, Elizabeth, I've never seen that side of you before!"  
  
"I think the temper in me flared up." I answered, and followed after Horatio. 


	2. In Which Natalie Pisses off Simpson

Chapter Two  
  
In Which Natalie Pisses off Simpson  
  
Hmm... We left off with Lizzy following a hot British dude and Lia and I watching. Anyway, I was clicking my heels together because I fidget a lot and really can't stand still for more than two seconds, and a tune came to my lips. "Dream a dream, and see through angel's eyes, a place where we can fly away..." Lia nudged me, and I saw one of the British guys glaring at me. "What's your problem dude?" He raised an eyebrow. "What kind of orphan are you?" I sniffed and jabbed my finger into his chest. "I am myself, a fourteen-year-old girl who likes to write teen romance, and you're asking me what kind of an orphan I am?" He seized me by my renaissance style clothes and threw me toward some rather mean-looking guys. "Don't mess with me, I took self-defense!" With that, I kneed a guy in the groin, and he squealed in pain. "Heh, heh, heh, take that asshole!" Lia was meanwhile going around and pulling every rope, causing things to snag and tear, including the sails. "Lia, stop, before the scary people get pissed!" And then the scary people got pissed off, because Lia pulled on a rope and a lot of cargo spilled into the sea. "Oy, Lia, you're going to get us killed! Where's a hot English guy with a sword when you need him?" Lia pointed. "Apparently right next to Lizzy." I glanced back and saw Lizzy and Horatio standing in sailing outfits. "He definitely qualifies." A bunch of the crew burst out laughing. "You little girls must be daft if you think Hornblower is anything to look at. He might as well be a woman." A man said that wasn't very attractive at all. "Yeah, and you might as well be pig swill." I muttered, and the guy turned red. Meanwhile, both Lizzy and Horatio were blushing furiously. "Watch your manners or we will tie you to the mast, wench!" I rolled my eyes. "Piss off, the last time someone called me a wench, I beat his ass into the floor! Sorry Lizzy, had to use the language. Anyway, we'll go along with you guys for a little while, until I get bored of course!" Horatio had said nothing the entire time until now. "Are your friends always like this Elisabeth?" Lizzy nodded, and I shook my head. "Girl, you're not very good at this are you? Yeah, Lia and I are always this insane, but Lizzy is pretty sedate, especially when she is around hot guys like you, Mr. Hornblower." With a laugh, I realized that he really was only two years older than her; not that much if you think about it. "You think you're going nowhere, when you're walkin' down the street..."  
  
"Natalie, we're going!" Lia called, and cut me off. "Coming! What're you staring at rat face?" I shot at Simpson, and nearby, the one that I remembered as Archie cringed, and I furrowed my brow. "Lizzy, isn't there speculation about something between...?" Lizzy put a finger to her lips, and I nodded, but looked back at Archie, at which point, our eyes locked, and I blushed. That was, I suppose, the point at which I really noticed him, and it certainly was the point at which I realized how difficult it is to make eye contact with someone when they are not speaking to you. The four of us entered a room, and I raised my eyebrow at the hammocks. "They had those on the deck in Cancun." Horatio glanced over at me. "You have been to the Spanish colony in the west?" Nodding, I stated proudly; "Many times, sir, but I am no Spaniard; I'm American!" Lizzy clapped a hand to her own forehead, and I blushed. "Er... that was a joke, I often do things like that." Hmm... so they were still squeamish about that whole thing with the Revolutionary War. Lia plopped onto one of the hammocks, and suddenly smiled excitedly. "Oh, we can spin around and around and wake everyone up in the middle of the night!" With a laugh, I spun her hammock around without letting her fall a few times and then let go. It shook erratically, and she ended up on her behind. "Again, again!" Noticing the silence of the other two people in the room, I glanced over at them. "Lighten up, Horatio, it's not the end of the world that she is wearing your clothes; no, the end of the world is that my Palm Pilot will be dead in a day or two, and if we don't get back home, I'll run out of batteries for my CD player!" Again, Lizzy gestured for me to be quiet, and I shook my head. "A life without good music is a sorry life indeed, especially when it means that I'll have to sing to make up for it!" Now, I might be an okay singer, but I do get annoying after awhile. "Fine, fine, we will be happy to aid you and your crew, sir, since we really should pull our own weight. Now, back to my writing." Yeah, cheesy I know, but I really am a writer, ever since the sixth grade. "Natalie and Lia write novels, and I write short stories." Our shy friend explained, and Horatio's eyes widened slightly. "You are educated?" I nodded with a smile. "Of course, we know history, science, math, English... and a few foreign languages; I myself plan on picking up Italian and Gaelic for the fun of it." Of course, I then realized that women were almost never schooled in this day and age. "Well, perhaps you three may help us in navigation then." With a shake of my head, I pointed at Lia, who was looking out the window for mermaids. "She's the smart one, sir, Lia is two years older than Lizzy and I, and she speaks French, Spanish, and a bit of German." Horatio nodded. "Very well, then: you might want to lie low for a bit, miss, since Simpson is the vengeful sort." Naturally, I already knew this. "I know: that whole thing of that card game... yes, we know about that, but who doesn't?" He really was a gentleman for all of the trouble I had caused.   
  
At the point, the door opened, and Archie stepped in. "Mr. Hornblower, your presence is requested above deck by Captain Pellew." I felt my cheeks heat up and glanced downward. "Yes, all right... are you coming Mr. Kennedy?" Horatio had begun to leave, but Archie was staying behind. "I am to... make sure that they cause no more trouble, sir." Naturally, he was talking about me. "With all due respect, we don't need a baby sitter: Lizzy and I are fifteen, and Lia is seventeen: we know when to behave ourselves." I commented, and both of them laughed. "Yes, just like you knew to behave on deck?" There was no way in hell that I was going to let a British naval officer make fun of me, not even Archie. "You can shove your stupid comments up your..." Lia clamped a hand over my mouth, and I saw that I had startled both young men. "Excuse me, Natalie, but you are scaring the sea monsters and mermaids away." Trust Lia not to make sense. "Sorry, I won't cause any more trouble... today." Lizzy rubbed her temple, and I gave both guys a half-hearted smile. "Very well, but I still have my orders." He said hoarsely, and then whispered to Horatio: "I've never heard of a young woman, even an orphan who swears like that!" With a grumble, I sat down and whipped out my palm pilot. "I wonder if I could actually do anything with this?" Lizzy and Lia looked over my shoulder. "There isn't anything to pick up the signal, Natalie." This was very upsetting to me. "But I need to post my stories: hell, I need to check my e-mail!" I have a really bad habit of blurting things that I probably shouldn't. "Ixnay on the aile-may!" Lia muttered, and I flushed for only the zillionth time. "Oh well, at least we don't have to do homework!" I exclaimed, and they only sighed. "What arte you talking about?" I swore in German, and my friends laughed at me. "Never mind." Lia said. "Can't tell, sore wa himitsu desu!" Poor guy, we were throwing at least three different languages at him. "What language was that?" Lizzy shrugged when he looked at her, and Lia was preoccupied, so I had to tell him. "Japanese, sir, Lia and I know a few words. We are very language oriented... okay, this is getting ridiculous: I would never call a seventeen-year-old sir at home: they would be all skeptical and everything!" Lizzy laughed. "But you have to, Natalie, or else it would be disrespectful."  
  
"But he's not even an acting lieutenant yet!" Then, I realized that I might have insulted him. "Sorry, but you aren't, can't we just call you Archie?" Archie raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "If you wish, miss... how old are all of you?" Lizzy answered this time. "You already know that Natalie is fourteen, as am I, and Lia is sixteen: we're all writers, so we sometimes co-write stories." By this time, Horatio was long gone in case you were wondering. "What do you write if I may ask?" Lia answered first. "We all write differently: I write dark fantasy sir, my stories are based on my nightmares since it makes them go away." Lizzy shuffled her feet nervously. "I write about this time period, but it is..." She drifted off, and I picked it up for her. "Romance, she writes modest romance, as do I, but mine is less modest... sorry if that disturbs you, but we wouldn't want to disillusion you, Archie." Then, for a moment, he paused. "How did you all know my name?" Lizzy sputtered and Lia seemed about to say something when I made up something off the top of my head. "We heard Horatio call you that." This probably went down better than what Lia would have said, since she takes joy in annoying people and generally confusing them. "I see..." This was not the Archie I remembered from the later episodes, but that was after Simpson was gone. I found myself wondering whether the rumors were true that Simpson had... just then, Lia brightened. "Oh look, ships with the French flag, the guys on deck probably can't see them yet!" Archie shot to his feet. "What did you say?" I sighed and ran out past him. "Look, dude, there's no time for that: we have to warn them!" With my heels clanking loudly against the deck, I actually reached Captain Pellew's office before the others. "Captain Pellew, sir, I am sorry to intrude, but we spotted a fleet of French ships off the... back of the boat." I said, and Lizzy elbowed me. "She meant ship." Simpson turned to Horatio and commented: "You should probably get your girlfriends to go below deck, Hornblower." By this time, Pellew was gone, and I snorted. "We're not his girlfriends, and by the way, you couldn't get a girl if you tried." He sneered at me, and his face was so close to mine that I could smell the foulness of his breath. "I would be careful if I were you, little girl." I really hate it when people treat me like I'm just a little kid. "Take that back, or I swear to God I'll knock you cold." At least Horatio kills him later. "Learn your place, or you'll get yourself the noose, young lady." Strange apology but I was fine with it, except for the part about learning my place. "Do me a favor and piss off." Then he actually left, and I kind of raised my eyebrow. "Commendable, Miss...?" Archie started, and I stuck out my hand. "Klavier, Natalie Klavier." Heh, Klavier means piano in German, just thought you might like to know, so my name is Natalie Piano (giggles). Now that I think about it, this was the point when Archie actually started to respect me as an independent young woman who might actually be capable of holding her own in a fight, which I soon proved that I was more than able to do. 


	3. Take That!

Chapter Three  
  
Take That!  
  
Hey! We stopped with Natalie talking about how she and Archie were hitting it off pretty well. Next, we fought the French, and actually held our own in battle. The way Natalie and Lizzy talk about me, I'm kind of an airhead, but I am actually pretty smart; I took Spanish, French, and German all at the same time at one point, and I hope to learn Welsh, Japanese, Gaelic, and Italian among other languages. I normally write dark fantasy, to relieve my nightmares, but there isn't anything fantastic about this whole thing except for the fact that we were sucked into a laptop. Natalie and I got out to the deck first, and she and I both turned to the men and held out our hands. "Swords." Horatio raised an eyebrow, and Natalie explained. "I took fencing, and Lia still takes fencing, so we know what we are doing." Archie sighed, and fetched two swords for us, which we accepted with glee. The two of us ran forward and waited eagerly for the battle to move to one of the ships. Both of the guys tried to get us to stay back. "The last thing we need is for two women to be killed, go below deck." Horatio practically commanded, and Natalie shook her head. "No, we can handle it." I nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, just like we handled all those people at the anime parade when we gave them fan service on accident." Natalie flushed, and her eyes went wide as she gestured for me to be quiet. "I won't even presume to guess what you meant by that, miss, but I still think that the three of you should go below deck." Lizzy had walked up next to us and was shaking her head. "No, we'll stay right here." For effect, I stabbed forward, right between Archie and Horatio, and I actually stabbed someone in the side; a Frenchman by the looks of it, who had been about to stab Horatio through the back. "Er... see, we can hold our own." Natalie sputtered, and both men looked backward and then forward again with deathly pale faces. "I suppose there is no time anymore, now is there? Just... try not to get yourselves killed!" With that, both the acting lieutenant and the midshipman turned to fight.  
  
The battle turned out all right, though none of us actually aimed killing blows, just paralyzing ones. A lot of the French people said very mean things in their native language, and I sternly replied to the lot of them that I could understand them, and that they should be more respectful. In the end, the French were all dead, and their ship was sunk, so we three girls clasped hands and jumped up and down until our legs hurt. Meanwhile, the crew was looking upon us with raised eyebrows, and the captain came up to us with a question. "Ladies, it is unsafe for you to be upon this vessel; where may we discharge you? The only way you could stay is if we one or two of my men volunteered to keep an eye on you." Horatio and Archie rushed forward to volunteer. "Captain Pellew, we would be happy to keep an eye on these ladies, since they really have nowhere to go anyway, being orphans." After the captain agreed to allow us onboard, we all went to sleep. 


	4. The Future and Feathers

Chapter four: The future, feathers, and fetishes  
  
Written by Elizabeth  
  
When I awoke the next morning, I knew something big was going to happen. I couldn't quite explain it, I just knew. Natalie was sure I was just nervous.  
  
"This is your first full day with Horatio, you have every right to be a little nervous." I noticed that her cheeks were a little red as she said it. I was, for once, prepared with a comeback.  
  
"Yeah, and I bet you're nervous about your first full day with Archie!"  
  
Natalie turned redder, and I laughed gently. "Either way, Natalie," I said as we climbed above decks, "I'm positive something is going to happen."  
  
Natalie stared in front of us, then groaned. "Something's already happening."  
  
I looked. Lia, who had gotten up before us, was twirling around in circles, nearly hitting Matthews as he attempted to mop the deck. I groaned. How were we going to fit in here if my friends kept acting like this? But that thought was driven from my mind when Lia began to sing.  
  
"C'est plus fort que moi  
  
A chaque foi,  
  
Je mens mord les doigts...  
  
(c) some French guy. I didn't write it!  
  
I ran forward and clamped my hand over her mouth. "Lia, are you crazy?"  
  
"Mfuykfdjlghldskfghs!" She said, which I ignored  
  
"You just can't sing a French song on a ship of Brits!" I hissed. "I mean, for crying out loud, you should just sing 'Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir' And be done with it!"  
  
I heard a strangled croak, and turned around to see Horatio staring at me in horror. "Milady!" He gasped, scandalized.  
  
I turned scarlet. "No, Mr. Hornblower, please, It's not what you think! It's just...a song!" I said, desperate that he didn't get the wrong impression.  
  
He blinked sternly at me. "I don't know any song, British or French, that involves the word..." his voice trailed off, and he turned a little red too.  
  
"No, please, sir!" I begged him, "It was quite popular from where we come from! Don't blow a fuse about this!"  
  
"'Fuse?' Where exactly do you ladies come from?" He said, drawing up to his full height.  
  
I looked down at my feet, in time to discover that Lia was turning blue from lack of oxygen. I let her go and glared at her. "This is all your fault!" I spat at her, then I turned back to Horatio.  
  
"Come to our quarters. I'll explain everything."  
  
This time, all the color drained from his face. "Do you expect me to fall for that trick?" he said.  
  
"This is not a trick!" I said. "I swear on my life that I will not do anything rash!" When he still looked doubtful, I sighed. "Fine! Bring Archie with you if you don't trust me!"  
  
Horatio nodded. "I shall arrive there in five minutes." He turned on his heel and left.  
  
Lia, Natalie, and I traipsed back to our room. I was fuming, my face on fire, Natalie was watching me quietly, and Lia was skipping merrily, singing something about flying corncobs. I pushed open the door and fell on a hammock. "Now what are we going to do?" I said, covering my eyes with a hand, "Nothing I say will convince him we're all right!"  
  
Natalie spoke up. "We could just tell him the truth."  
  
I jerked bolt upright. "Are you insane? He'll think we're all nutters!"  
  
"Horatio trusts you more than us. I think you'll do fine if you don't burst into tears, giggle, or do anything foolish."  
  
There was a rap upon our door. I took a deep breath. I guess something big is going to happen. I'm going to tell them the truth. I thought. "Ok." I said softly, then raised my voice. "Come in!"  
  
Horatio, still pale, entered, followed closely by Archie. "Well, ladies?" Horatio said, sitting on a spare hammock.  
  
I took a deep breath and began to tell. "We're not from around here. The truth is, we are Yankees from the year 2003."  
  
There was a short pause, then Horatio shook his head. "I will not believe it."  
  
"It's true," I said, "We were brought here by something beyond our control, and I don't know how we'll get back or even what we're doing here!"  
  
"Yes," Archie said quietly, "But how were you sent here?"  
  
"I just told you." I said gently, "I don't..."  
  
"Oh, give it a rest, Liz!" Lia said, then stood in front of the men. "We were sucked into Liz's laptop while watching a movie!"  
  
"'Laptop?'" Horatio said, puzzled.  
  
I tried to explain. "It's a thing that you can write on, like an updated parchment and quill."  
  
"Stop, Liz." Lia snorted. "If he can't comprehend on his own, then he's a bigger dunce than I thought." I had managed sufficiently to hold my temper until that moment, but now I could not stand here and let my baby be insulted.  
  
"Lia, I am seriously insulted. Stand off him."  
  
"But why? He's a total nincompoop!  
  
"That does it!" I roared, and everyone-Horatio, Archie, Lia, Natalie, the hammocks, the walls, the door, the ship, the whole dang world-jumped. (Oh, all right, maybe only the first four.)  
  
I began to scream at Lia. "Leave him alone I say, or I will strangle you." Lia stuck her tongue out at me, as if to say, "Oh yeah?"  
  
"Yeah!" I answered her, and throwing all dignity to the winds, I tore at her and knocked her over. "If you insult Hora...I mean Mr. Hornblower again, I swear I will kill you."  
  
"He's a total idiot, he gets seasick, and he's a loudmouth!" Lia said, smirking.  
  
I grabbed a pillow from a hammock and smacked her across the face with it. She shut up immediately, then grabbed another pillow and beat me about the head with it. I rained blow upon blow with the fuzzy weapon, and she did likewise. Natalie, meanwhile, was roaring with laugher on the floor, and Horatio and Archie were staring, transfixed with my sudden change from sanity to...this. It was around then that my pillow came too close to Horatio's sword, and it ripped, sending feathers everywhere. (Why this darn ship had feather pillows I don't know.) It took only three seconds for the one sort of chaos to become another sort.  
  
Lia jumped up, and started trying to catch the feathers, screaming "Look, it's snowing inside!" Natalie picked herself up from off the floor, and started giving the Heimlich Maneuver to Archie, who had swallowed a considerable amount of feathers and was choking on them. My darling Horatio was apparently allergic to the darn things, and was sneezing fit to burst. Unfortunately for me, sneezes make me weak, so I was sitting on the floor, giggling my heart out. Horatio was gasping for air (every time you sneeze, your heart stops for a second), and looking very woebegone. I stood up and helped him out of there, though a part of me didn't want to...this man had the sexiest sneezes I'd ever heard. (Bear with me on this, ok?)  
  
"I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Hornblower." I said, giggling feebly, "I don't know what came over me there."  
  
"A temporary bout of insanity, no doubt." Horatio said with a little smile. "It happens to the best of us." He paused and let out a quiet sneeze. "Haishoo!"  
  
I clapped a hand over my mouth to stop myself from giggling. At the same moment, something clicked in my brain. Once my giggling fit had subsided, I looked at him, my eyes full of fear.. "Mr. Hornblower, please, I beg of you and your honor as a gentleman, don't tell anyone, even Captain Pellew, that we come from the future."  
  
"At the moment, milady," Horatio said as he dusted the feathers from his hair, "I cannot even believe you are from this Earth." When I glared at him he said, "But you have my word that I will not tell a soul."  
  
"Thank you, sir." I said graciously, curtsying as well as a girl in pants can. "Oh, and please disregard my earlier comment about, well, you know..."  
  
"'Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?'" Horatio grinned, "Yes, don't worry, you're safe."  
  
I nodded and left him at the door.  
  
***  
  
When I returned to our quarters, it was to find that Lia and Natalie were busy cleaning up the debris from our fight. Archie was comatose on a hammock. "What happened?" I asked, gesturing to him as I started cleaning up.  
  
Natalie looked ready to start laughing again. "I gave him the Heimlich, then he coughed out the feathers, said, 'Is it December? Merry Christmas.' and sort of fainted."  
  
I chuckled. "Horatio fares better. After we got him away from there and he could breathe again, everything was all right."  
  
"That reminds me. Why were you giggling so hard?" Lia asked, sticking some of the bigger feathers in her hair.  
  
I groaned. I'd hoped nobody would notice my little obsession. I took a deep breath and told them the truth. When I had finished, both Natalie and Lia were roaring with laughter.  
  
"Come on, Liz," Lia wheezed, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I can understand crying attracting you to a man, but sneezing?"  
  
"But they're so sweet!" I said. "Well, his are anyway."  
  
"Well, don't keep me in suspense!" Lia said, now arranging the feathers in her hair to look like an Indian headdress, "How do they sound?"  
  
I blushed. "They're soft and gentle, as though he's embarrassed to let anyone hear them. And they sound so feminine, I can't believe it."  
  
"FEMININE?" shouted Lia, and she collapsed on the floor, holding her sides. "Oh God, this is classic! Better than the mutant apricot that landed on my shoulder that one time!"  
  
I didn't pursue that one. "Yes, feminine, but what has that got to do with anything?"  
  
Natalie controlled herself. "Come on, Lizzy, you know as well as I that a man who acts like a woman in any way can sometimes be considered Gay!"  
  
"I don't care. He's not Gay, his sneezes are gorgeous, and if you thinks it's funny, then fine! Case closed!"  
  
Lia opened her mouth again, but I swatted her with another pillow, which broke open, and Archie, who had just regained consciousness, started choking on a mouthful of feathers again.  
  
"Natalie, Patient in hammock three!" I said, laughing. Natalie prepared to Heimlich him again, and I started gathering feathers and packing them back into the pillows, giggling again. A few minutes later, Archie coughed up a feather-ball, and sat on the hammock panting. "What is it with you girls?" he gasped.  
  
"Don't ask." I said. Then I remembered something. "Archie, I don't want you to tell anyone, not even the Captain, that we're from 2003. Ok?"  
  
"Well," said Archie, but Natalie was prepared.  
  
"Pleeease, Archie, keep it secret. I'll be ever so grateful!" She said, clasping her hands. It melted him like an ice cube. "All right." He said, standing up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm leaving before the next pillow breaks."  
  
With that, he left, leaving us to pick up the mess...and laugh over all of this.  
  
"You know what?" Natalie said, as she stuffed in the last of the feathers into the bag, "I think we should head outside after we clean up, you know, be present for all of it."  
  
"Oh yeah," I said sarcastically, "And be in the thick of the fight again?" I was still bitter about that last fight we'd been engaged in. Natalie and Lia had done wonderfully, because they knew fencing, but I had absolutely no fighting skills whatsoever, and the best I could do when someone came close to me was to kick them in the...well, the point is that I can't fight.  
  
"Come on, Liz." Lia said, grinning at me. "Where's your sense of fun?"  
  
I glared at her. "We're in the middle of the 1700's and in the middle of a war!!! This is not fun!!!"  
  
"Come on, Lizzy." Natalie pleaded. "I'll bring my music. I swear that if there's any sort of trouble, we'll go below."  
  
I always trusted Natalie's word, so I followed them outside. 


	5. Sparkling Diamonds

Chapter Five  
  
After the whole French thing, Lizzy, Lia, and I really made Horatio blush. I had my CD player on me, so I turned up the volume so loud that you could hear every word perfectly from across the room. Then, we literally had a Moulin Rouge songfest! The first song we did was 'Sparkling Diamonds', and at that point, Archie popped his head in and raised an eyebrow as we were singing:  
  
"Men grow cold as  
  
Girls grow old  
  
And we all loose our charms in the end  
  
But square cut  
  
Or pear shaped, these rocks don't loose their shape  
  
Diamonds are a girl's best friend."  
  
His jaw kind of dropped, and I paused the CD player. "Something you needed, Archie?" Slowly, he approached the CD player. "What is that contraption?" I really could have gone on and on about it. "It plays music; the doorway to the soul you could call it. Music is my life at least; without it, I couldn't really function. We were only singing songs from the future." For a while now, I'd had him wrapped around my little finger, so he was willing to believe anything I said. "Fascinating as it is, I must be going... maybe you could sing more quietly?" With a shrug, I turned the music back on and continued.  
  
"Tippany  
  
Cartier  
  
'Cause we are living  
  
In a material world  
  
And I am a material girl."  
  
Archie shook his head and left. "Women." He muttered, and I once again paused the music and giggled. "He has no idea what he is dealing with." Lia nodded. "Change it to 'Rhythm of the Night', Lizzy told me you're really good at it." I obliged her and began.  
  
"When it feels like  
  
The world is on your shoulders  
  
And all of the madness  
  
Has got you going crazy  
  
It's time to get out  
  
Jump out into the street  
  
Where all of the action  
  
Is right there at your feet  
  
Well  
  
I know a place where we can dance the whole night away  
  
And it's called the Moulin Rouge  
  
Oh  
  
Just come with me  
  
And we can shake your blues right away..."   
  
And so on, but when I got to the Spanish, I stopped and listened. "Tell them to stop it, Archie, or I will." I hurriedly skipped to 'Lady Marmelade', and Lizzy shook her head. "What are you doing, Natalie?" With a grin, I explained. "Just showing Horatio that this really is a popular song." When Horatio entered, we were just idly staring at the ceiling singing the dreaded words that had caused him to act like a girl earlier (you know the ones). "Ladies, a bit of tact, if you please!" Archie was standing behind him. "Is that French?" Horatio nodded. "Yes, and they aren't using it tactfully either!" Lizzy flushed and Lia didn't pay attention at all. "What does it mean?" I burst out laughing, and after screwing the smile off my face, explained. "It means: 'Won't you... mph!'" Lizzy covered my mouth, and I continued to giggle until I ran out of air, at which point she let go of me, and I gasped. "I don't see what is so funny." Still laughing, I replied: "Lighten up Horatio, we're very open about this stuff in the twenty-first century, but it's still incredibly funny. Okay, Archie, you have to swear not to tell a soul about the song or anything else that is about to happen." Horatio rubbed his temple, and Archie raised an eyebrow at him. "Rather she than I." Archie nodded. "Everyone in the twenty-first century knows that it means: 'Won't you come and lie with me tonight?'." Oh, if only you, the reader, had seen his face just then: it was a mixture of surprise, embarrassment, and scandal. "Why would they know that?" The three of us girls glanced at each other. "'Moulin Rouge'." Both of them looked confused. "It is a movie, guys: a movie is like a book, only done by actors just like it is really happening. 'Moulin Rouge' is about a Bohemian writer that falls in love with a whore that has consumption. Only a duke buys her, and they are forced to hide their love as he, the writer for a play, and she, the lead actress in it. It's a classic!" Both of them seemed skeptical. "Well... I suppose we should be going now, can you sing something else?" Hmm... what to pick? I quickly switched the CD and played 'Nature Boy'.  
  
"There was a boy  
  
A very strange  
  
Enchanted boy  
  
They say he wandered very far  
  
Very far  
  
Over land and see  
  
A little shy  
  
And sad of eye  
  
But very wise, was he  
  
And then one day  
  
One magic day  
  
He passed my way  
  
And while we spoke of many things  
  
Fools and kings  
  
This he said to me:  
  
The greatest thing  
  
You'll ever learn  
  
Is just to love  
  
And be loved  
  
In return..."   
  
I soloed it since the other two only knew the movie version, and this one was by Celine Dion. Archie's eyes locked with mine, and I colored a bit. Tonight, I would ask him about Simpson, since I really wanted to know, and was too curious for my own good.  
  
My opportunity came after dinner when Horatio was on watch, and my friends were occupied. I hesitantly stopped him and sat him down. "Archie, there's something I have been meaning to ask you." He nodded. "Yes, my lady?" Oh, he was making this difficult! "Is... is Simpson... what I mean to say is... is he molesting you?" Slowly, he stood. "Where did you get an idea like that?" I really hate it when people get mad at me, but I hate it more when they are suspicious of me, so one can imagine my discomfort. There was much that I could have told him, but I had the urge to tell him the truth. "In the future, there is a lot of... speculation, and I wanted to know if it was ill-founded." For a long time, he didn't reply, just kind of stared at me. "I'm sorry, it wasn't my place to ask." I apologized, but he walked up to me and took my hand. "Your place? Anyone would want to know with my fits. You must swear not to repeat it, but yes, he did when I was younger." I felt like an idiot for asking, and I had really been hoping that he would say I was mistaken. "Is that when they started, your fits I mean?" For his benefit and my own, I asked quietly and with sympathy. He nodded after a moment and I pulled the back of his hand to my heart. "Your secret is safe with me, I won't tell a soul." Archie brushed his lips against my knuckles. "Your confidence is greatly appreciated, madam." I shook my head. "I told you, it's Natalie, especially since I'm calling you by your first name." Lizzy suddenly walked in with Lia and Horatio not far behind, so I snatched my hand backward and sent Archie an apologetic glance, which he only nodded and smiled faintly at. "Captain Pellew has asked me to inform you ladies that we will be stopping at a port tomorrow, and you should pick up a few alternate outfits... Especially you, Elizabeth." And so I turned to Lia and Lizzy and asked them: "You know what this means, right?" They shook their heads no and I tsked. "Shopping spree!" Lia and I took each others hands and jumped up and down. "Are people in the twenty-first century prone to such antics?" Lizzy shrugged. "It depends if they are fan girls like Natalie and Lia." We stopped jumping and I shook my head. "I am not a fan girl: I don't know very much at all about anime." Lia didn't say anything at all. "Okay, okay, Natalie isn't really a fan girl, but she does act like one sometimes." That was true enough. "What's a fan girl?" Horatio asked, and I laughed. "You wouldn't really understand, but it's someone who obsesses over a specific book or TV show, or even a movie. A TV show is like a movie, only shorter." I added, and both Horatio and Archie seemed to understand. "And you are a fan girl of what exactly?" Archie asked, and I glared at Lizzy. "Well, books for the most part, and shows drawn by the Japanese called anime." Lia shrugged. "Sore wa himitsu desu." Horatio raised an eyebrow, and I explained. "It means: that is a secret, in Japanese... what, at least she isn't running around saying she has an axe stuck in her head!" This confused everyone, except for Lia. "Pardon?" Archie questioned, and I laughed again. "I have a friend who sometimes says that she has an axe stuck in her head in Japanese... she's not normal."  
  
With that, I left before confusing them more, but Lizzy and Lia immediately caught up with me, and we ran to our rooms. Lizzy closed the door behind us and plopped down on her hammock. "What were you and Archie talking about before we came in?" I shook my head. "Can't tell, I promised." Lizzy smirked. "He seems to like you a bit more than Lia and I: he rarely even talks to us, but he always talks to you." One of my eyebrows arched upward. "And just what are you implying?" Lia then said something that actually made sense. "He likes you Natalie: even you have to admit it." Wait, he liked me? "Wait, are you saying that he likes me, or that he likes me likes me?" Lizzy then said something that I would say. "She means that he head-over-heels, can't see past the fog, might be love, likes you." Oy, and there it was, but we had only known each other for little more than a week. "You're hallucinating, Archie doesn't like me, and besides, something happens to him, I just can't put my finger on it for the life of me." Lizzy furrowed her brow. "Nor can I, actually: I can only remember..."  
  
"Up to Mariette's death? Same." She nodded. "I'll have to sleep on that... but I was wondering, do you like him?" My jaw dropped. "Lizzy! I have only known him a week! Lordy, I'm actually speaking properly." Something weird was happening, and not just to me. "That is weird! Be truthful, I told you that I love Horatio." I giggled. "Yeah, but it was so obvious! Anywho, maybe I like him just a little, but he is really too old for me. What am I saying? Love will find a way if that is what fate has in store." Lizzy laughed. "How do you figure that?"  
  
"No one ever said that love was gonna be easy   
  
Gotta take the ups and downs, the in-betweens   
  
If you take this journey, gotta give yourself completely   
  
Never let nobody ever step on a dream   
  
You better stop   
  
Listen to these words I say   
  
You better stop   
  
Don't you throw a good dream away no no   
  
Put your trust in me  
  
And I'll make you see   
  
No the rain won't last forever   
  
Find a way to make it better   
  
Long as we can stand together   
  
Love will find a way   
  
Gonna make a new tomorrow   
  
Say good-bye to tears and sorrow   
  
Better listen when I say   
  
Love will find a way   
  
Somebody tried to tell me love doesn't last forever   
  
Said it only happens in your wildest dreams   
  
After all is said and done were still here together   
  
Never listen to the lies and jealousy   
  
You better stop   
  
Don't you let them turn you around   
  
You better stop   
  
Hang onto this love that weave found   
  
Nothing ever say   
  
Can stand in our way   
  
No the rain won't last forever   
  
Find a way to make it better   
  
Long as we can stand together   
  
Love will find a way   
  
Gonna make a new tomorrow   
  
Say good-bye to tears and sorrow   
  
Better listen when I say   
  
Love will find a way  
  
I want it  
  
I need it  
  
You know that I believe in it  
  
I'll get it  
  
I know it  
  
And if it's real he'll show it."  
  
Lizzy kept on giggling, and I paused and laughed with her. "But you remember Christian's words to Satine in 'Moulin Rouge'; 'Love is a many splendid thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love. Anyway, I know that love rarely ever happens, but I know that I'll fall in love one day, and I'll never fall out of love because...  
  
"I want it  
  
I need it  
  
You know that I believe in it  
  
I'll get it  
  
I know it  
  
And if it's real he'll show it  
  
You better stop   
  
Listen to these words I say   
  
You better stop   
  
Don't you throw a good dream away no no   
  
Put your trust in me  
  
And I'll make you see   
  
No the rain won't last forever   
  
Find a way to make it better   
  
Long as we can stand together   
  
Love will find a way   
  
Gonna make a new tomorrow   
  
Say good-bye to tears and sorrow   
  
Better listen when I say   
  
Love will find a way   
  
No the rain won't last forever   
  
Find a way to make it better   
  
Long as we can stand together   
  
Love will find a way   
  
Gonna make a new tomorrow   
  
Say good-bye to tears and sorrow   
  
Better listen when I say   
  
Love will find a way  
  
I want it  
  
I need it  
  
You know that I believe in it  
  
I'll get it  
  
I know it  
  
And if it's real he'll show it  
  
I want it  
  
I need it  
  
You know that I believe in it  
  
I'll get it  
  
I know it  
  
And if it's real he'll show it  
  
No the rain won't last forever."  
  
Lizzy and I laughed again, and Lia was asleep, but little was I to know that Archie had come down to shut me up, and had instead watched me tell Lizzy about love.  
  
After our shopping spree, Lizzy and I sulked about our corsets, and Lia showed some discomfort at the new clothing item. "Dude, these things could kill! No wonder Elisabeth in 'Pirates of the Caribbean' passed out and almost drowned!" Lia laughed. "Pailae." For a moment, I forgot the pain and began a mini dialogue. "Damn the man that came up with Pailae!" She continued the role-play as we left the store with our new make up and outfits. "That would be the French." We cracked up, and Lizzy shook her head. "My God, Johnny Depp was the best pirate!" I said as I attempted to breathe. "Definitely; he made the ever talented Orlando Bloom look awful!" With a smirk, I shook my head. "Not physically." Orlando was definitely a better blonde, but that was all fine and well. I gasped for air, and stomped my foot in annoyance. "Damned corset!" Then, Archie appeared, as he was our escort since Horatio was in a meeting with Captain Pellew and some other lieutenants. Lizzy wore green, Lia wore red, and I wore silver with gold highlights, since I absolutely love those two colors. My blonde hair with red tips was in a half-crown where it had recently been hidden in my barrette, which I received in Australia, but made me look a bit French. "I wouldn't have recognized you ladies were it not for Natalie's foul language." Lia rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, real smooth Archie." It was difficult for me to talk to him right now, because I could only remember up to the beginning of the third episode, and that meant that I knew Simpson was going to send his boat out to sea, but not that he would be found in the Spanish prison, and that anguished me more than I would care to admit. Perhaps that was due to the fact that he had told me what he hadn't even told Horatio, and Horatio was his best friend! "You and Elizabeth look lovely Lia, but you, Natalie, you look stunning." He took my hand and kissed the back of it, causing me to blush the same color as Lia's gown. Yeah, so I really was attracted to him, but what was a girl to do? I have always had a thing for guys with accents, and he was exceptionally kind to me where no other guy had been. "Thank you, Archie." I seriously felt like a princess, and I was certainly dressed like one in my flared eighteenth century gown. Let me tell you, when you're fourteen, you live for the romance of historical men in shining armor and the like. After we had gotten back to the Indy, I was sitting with Lizzy and Lia when I blurted; "I miss Sammy." Archie turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Who's Sammy?" There was something in his voice that puzzled me a bit. "My cat, are you okay, Archie?" He nodded. "Yes, of course, you have a cat?" I nodded happily. "Yeah, he's a sweetheart; he was born under the steps to my mom's office along with his siblings, so she took he and his sister Rainbow home and gave them to us as pets. Rainbow ran away though, so now all I have is Sam pet-wise." I then realized that we had forgotten to tell Horatio and Archie that we weren't really orphans! "Oh Lordy, I completely forgot; we're not orphans. I have parents and a brother, and Elaine had the same set-up. Lia is an only child, and she is definitely not an orphan." Now, he seemed to understand my previous statement. I felt such an emotional pull toward him; what would happen when he was sent out to sea?  
  
One week later, Papillon was sighted, and I did not remember anything of Archie's disappearance, though I knew that I had better or else someone was going to get hurt. Horatio and Archie were sent out, and naturally, Lizzy, Lia and I bullied our way into going with them. We dressed in men's naval uniforms, and sat in the boat with them, swords in our sheaths and pistols in our belts. Suddenly, Archie had a fit, and warning bells went off in my head as I quickly pulled his head into my lap and whispered into his ear. "Calm down, Archie, Simpson is not here right now." I gently brushed his bangs out of his face, and overheard Captain Pellew telling Horatio to stop the racket. "Shh, Archie, it's okay, I'm here." My murmuring ceased when Horatio's desperate gaze caught mine, and Lizzy sighed as he pulled out a bar and knocked Archie unconscious. He became limp, and I bit my lip. "There's something important about this, Lizzy, and I have a feeling I'm going to regret not remembering." I whispered while still holding on to Archie's upper body. "I know, but I don't remember Natalie; I'm sorry." Heaving a great sigh, I abandoned Archie in the boat, but not before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead, which did not escape Lizzy's or Horatio's attention, but the acting lieutenant had no time to ponder the reasoning behind a young girl brushing her lips against his best friend's forehead. "Lizzy, something is going to happen to him, but I know that I can't stop it, and that I shouldn't try to, but I want to." She nodded with sympathy, and climbed on to the boat when she heard the alarm from Horatio's discovery. Soon, we were engaged in combat, and like before, we hurt a lot of people, but we did not kill them. At one particular point, I saw Simpson looking down into the boat that held Archie's unconscious body, and then I saw him shoot the rope to the boat and then Horatio. I ran to him and slapped him. "You bastard! I saw what you did, and I won't have any qualms about testifying!" After I said that, I prepared to jump in and pull the boat back, but Simpson pulled me backward and struck me with the butt end of his sword, rendering me unconscious very near Horatio, who was bleeding from the forehead. 


	6. Blech!

Chapter Six  
  
Lizzy was the one to find Natalie, who had apparently suffered a strong blow to the head. "Lia, there's something else: the boat is gone, Horatio was shot in the head, and I know who did it." I was very surprised. "Who?" She sighed. "Simpson: he had a tie to all of them: he hated Horatio because he was transferred to the Indy first, and he hates Natalie not only for insulting him, but for siding with Horatio and Archie, and for gaining enough of Archie's trust that he would tell her his darkest secret. Of course, it was also because she was a witness." Wait a minute... "And Archie?" Lizzy squeezed her eyes shut. "It is possible that Simpson molested Archie when he was younger, and that is what caused his fits, so Archie probably told Natalie about it, and she kept his confidence." What a sicko! "Poor Archie, what is going to happen next?" With a gulp, she answered me. "He will die." Just then, Natalie opened her eyes. "Wait 'till I get my hands on that Simpson guy, I'll wring his treasonous little neck!" She muttered, and Lizzy pulled her to her feet. "No need, Captain Pellew will do away with him in the end." Natalie shook her head, and I suppose she might have been clearing it. "Go tend to Horatio, Lizzy, it's nothing but a big bump." Something was really bothering her: I'd known her for almost four years now, and I had never seen her looking so defeated. "What is wrong, Natalie?" Sighing, she looked over her shoulder at the sea. "I might've been able to stop the boat if I hadn't screamed at Simpson." I shook my head. "Then, he might've killed you instead of knocking you unconscious, and three people would have been lost."  
  
"Only two, my lady." Came a strangled voice from behind us, and we turned to see that it was indeed Horatio. "Well at least you're all right." Natalie acknowledged. "What do you mean?" Lizzy explained slowly. "Simpson sent Archie out to sea right before he shot you, and then Natalie gave him an earful, so he knocked her cold." Horatio winced, as did Natalie. "I am sorry, Miss Klavier, but right now, there is nothing I can do, and I forbid you to do anything, else you get yourself killed." Naturally, Natalie wasn't going to stand for that, so she rebuffed him. "And who the hell are you to order me around?" I felt badly for the both of them. "Perhaps you should report to Captain Pellew before he pronounces you dead on Simpson's word... both of you should in fact." I said helpfully: when Natalie is upset, it is impossible to reason with her. "Fine." She snapped, and stomped off. "I'd hate to be Simpson right now, or at any other time, she's ready to kill him!" Horatio struggled to stay balanced, but in the end, Lizzy had to support him. "But why? All he did was knock her unconscious." With a sigh, I corrected him. "Not quite: he also cut Archie loose, and that in itself is enough to piss her off." He waved a hand in front of my face, and I cocked my head. "You're actually making sense? And what does that have to do with anything?" How to put this in simple English? "I am not always spacey: I've known Natalie since she was ten, and believe me, she likes Archie." Clearly this was not simple English. "Mr. Hornblower, Horatio if I may? Natalie likes Archie as in, she fancies him." Horatio looked incredulous. "What? But she is only fourteen!" Lizzy nodded. "She'll be fifteen soon enough, and you should know that fifteen is of a courtable age. Archie is really only two years her senior. I can't believe that you didn't notice though, don't you remember how she tried to calm him down during his fit? Don't you remember his preference to her? The attraction was mutual: Lia and I picked up on it a few days ago." He spluttered for a few moments, and looked in the direction that Natalie had disappeared in. "But... I never found any reason to believe that Archie was partial to Natalie!"  
  
"You weren't there when he said that she was stunning, and he told her a secret that she hasn't revealed to us, though I might know what it is. You also weren't there when Natalie said she missed Sammy, and Archie was jealous." I giggled at the memory. "Who's Sammy?" Lizzy joined me in my laughing. "Her cat." I managed after taking a few deep breaths. "Anyway, believe it or not, your best friend fell for my friend." At that point, Natalie showed up with Captain Pellew, and Lizzy and I stifled our laughter. "I don't see what is so funny." Natalie snapped, and I only informed her of our recent conversation. "We just told Horatio that you like Archie." Her eyes went wide for a moment, and I knew that I had managed to make her even angrier. "I do not!" I cocked my head. "But you said..."  
  
"Never mind what I said! Captain, Simpson was the one who cut the boat loose, and he was the one that shot Horatio." Horatio nodded with a faintly amused expression. "And he knocked Natalie out." I added helpfully, but the captain was paying more attention to Natalie and Horatio. "That is a serious accusation, are the two of you prepared to back it?" Natalie bit her lip. "Mr. Hornblower and I have nothing but our eyes to verify what Simpson did." Captain Pellew and Horatio turned to face each other since Horatio was more-or-less sturdy by now. "Are you prepared to duel with Mr. Simpson, Horatio?" Natalie seemed to understand that she could not really defend herself in these times. "Sir? You ordered me not to duel with anyone." Captain Pellew nodded. "Yes, and now I am ordering you to defend Miss Klavier, Mr. Kennedy, and yourself." He nodded, and I wondered at the importance of this. "Yes sir, I am ready to duel with Mr. Simpson." 


	7. Plans and Pain

Chapter 7: Plans and pain  
  
Written by Elizabeth  
  
I of course, knew everything that would happen in this duel. But still, I thought it would be interesting to see first hand. So when Horatio's boat headed out, I was only too glad to join it. Lia and Natalie joined us, and we had a silent ride to the island where the fight would take place. I leaned back in the boat and watched the Indy growing smaller...How long would it be before Pellew came to save Horatio? I mused. Lia, of course, was being her usual bizarre self: I swear I heard her saying something about flying tarantulas circling Horatio's head. Either Horatio heard her, or he was just nervous, but at any rate he stood up and moved to the other side of the boat, where I was sitting.  
  
"Nervous?" I asked him when he sat down. He nodded, looking like he was about to vomit. I laid a hand on his shoulder. "Don't be. We're right there, and if Simpson tries anything funny, we'll knock him cold."  
  
This produced a nervous titter from him, then we fell silent, watching the island draw ever closer.  
  
***  
  
We stood off to one side, so as not to be hit by a stray bullet, and watched the proceedings before the duel with some interest. The man who was the referee brought out two boxes with pistols, and held them up for the men to choose. Simpson fondled them both, then decided upon the second one. I gulped in my throat. Horatio might come out of this alive, but it didn't stop me from being nervous. Horatio and Simpson stood back to back, and I noticed Simpson saying something. I slyly drew a little closer, and make out the following:  
  
Simpson said softly to Horatio, "I'm going to kill you Snotty. Just like I killed Clayton, and your little pal, Archie."  
  
"Kennedy?" Horatio gasped. I beckoned with my finger for the girls to come closer. "Yes." Simpson said coolly, "Oh, and when I win, I was thinking that I'll take care of the girls for you." I stiffened and leaned closer.  
  
"The eldest one, Lia, I think," Simpson said, and his voice was almost a whisper, "I'll leave her alone, she can take care of herself. Natalie, the..." He called her something I won't repeat here, "She knows too much. Maybe she'll fall prey to a little 'accident'." He turned his eye upon us (We hastily looked as though we couldn't hear anything) and his eye fell upon me. "And that girl, Elizabeth. Well, she's not much of a fighter, now is she? One good snap of her wrist should keep her in line. Maybe she can take Archie's place."  
  
I went cold. "You just try it, you filthy..." I hissed, preparing to strangle him, but Lia held me at bay. "Trust me, Liz, you don't attack a man with a gun. He's right, you aren't much of a fighter, but what you lack in fighting is made up for with brains. Out-think him." She whispered. I turned back to Horatio, and heard him say, in a hoarse croak, "You wouldn't dare!"  
  
"Wouldn't I?" Simpson said, an evil smile on his lips. "Don't threaten me, Snotty, You're both no more than empty threats."  
  
At that point, the referee came up and asked if they could not be reconciled, and the duel began. Something was nagging at my mind. What had Simpson meant about "Both are no more than empty threats"? Only Horatio was dueling, and no one else was threatening him, unless...unless he meant that the pistol Horatio was holding was empty!  
  
"Oh God." I murmured, and dashed forward just as the referee called "Two."  
  
"Miss Foresta!" (I failed to mention that by now all the senior officers knew my last name.) "What the hell are you doing?" The referee called.  
  
I ran to Horatio and wrestled the gun out of his fingers. "Miss Foresta, I must protest, you are holding up the..." Horatio began, but he never finished, for I had shot the gun at no area in particular, and all that had happened was a small puff of smoke. "Simpson has emptied this barrel!" I cried to the general assembly, "This is an unfair match!"  
  
"By God, you're right!" The ref said, and he took the pistol from my hand, giving it to some guy. "Fill this up properly and we'll fight this duel fairly!"  
  
I glared at Simpson, then turned back to Horatio. "I hope you don't mind that I stole your gun, Mr. Hornblower." I said shyly, blushing. Darn it, when was I going to get over this blushing thing?  
  
Horatio smiled at me. "Miss Foresta, I am in your debt. You saved my life by revealing this scandal."  
  
Suddenly, there was a loud "Look out!" It was shouted by Natalie, who was pale white. What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion.  
  
Simpson, outraged that I had discovered his scheme, had taken his gun and was firing directly at me. I froze. My god, I realized, I'm going to die. But I was wrong.  
  
Horatio grabbed my shoulders and shoved me aside. I sprawled on the rocks and looked up in time to see Horatio fall: he had taken the bullet for me.  
  
I rose up with a snarl of fury one normally only hears in wolves. I heard Natalie yelling something about Simpson being a piece of *excrement* (Insert cruder language here a.k.a. what do you think Natalie would say) and that he didn't deserve to live. He angrily said some much cruder language to her, and I paled since not even some of the kids with the dirtiest mouths are not that bad at school. I flew to Horatio's side and turned him over. He was breathing, though blood was trickling down from his shoulder. I shook him gently. "Mr. Hornblower, get up. I beg you, get up." When he didn't move, I leaned closer. "Come on, Horatio. Simpson will think he won. Get up."  
  
Simpson was heading our way, a truly ugly look on his face. "Did I kill him?" He snapped at me. I don't know what came over me, but I stood up and took a swing at him. He grabbed my wrist and forced me down on my knees. "Whore!" He spat at me; "Try that again and you'll hurt more than this!" He began to twist my wrist, preparing to break it. I showed no pain, but was sure that I'd start shrieking the moment he let go.  
  
"Let her go, Simpson! Your vengeance is with me, not her!" I looked behind me. Horatio was standing up again, and every word, every glance, even the way he held himself projected fury. "Yeah, let her go you bastard!" No need to mention who said that. I gasped with shock and pain, and Simpson dropped me rather unceremoniously on the rocks. "It's over! I shot you didn't I?"  
  
"Mr. Hornblower has not taken his shot yet, sir!" The ref called, bringing Horatio a now loaded pistol. "You will let him shoot!" I rose again and crept to the side. Natalie and Lia joined me. "Lordy, Lizzy, I thought he was going to kill you. Twice!" Natalie said.  
  
"Tell me about it." I growled, rubbing my wrist. Meanwhile, Horatio was standing there, finger on the trigger, aiming a well-deserved shot at Simpson's head. Simpson was on the ground, begging for his life. Horatio glanced at us, then turned his gun upwards and fired. I smiled. It was so satisfying to see the rat sniveling there on the rocks. So elated was I, in fact, that I murmured Horatio's words at him as I passed. "You're not worth the powder."  
  
Horatio was clutching his shoulder now that he had dropped the gun. I ran to his side and touched the wound. "It's not too deep. I'm sure it will be all right in a week or two."  
  
"Lizzy!" Natalie yelled. I turned around. Simpson was bearing down on us with a knife in his hand. Crap! I forgot about that! I thought. I started to reach for a sword or something to defend both myself and Horatio, but a gunshot fired off in the distance and Simpson fell back on the rocks, shot in the heart. Pellew had arrived.  
  
I was about to breathe a sigh of relief when my leg caught on fire. I looked down in time to see Simpson, with his last ounce of strength, jab his knife even deeper into my thigh before he fell to the ground with a groan. I clutched the hilt of the knife without thinking, watching the life drain from him. Only when his head fell to the side did I pull out the knife, dripping scarlet blood upon my dress. It was then also that I screamed in agony. I tried to get up, but my leg refused to support my weight. I felt Horatio's arms press against my back, and I fell into them, sinking into blackness.  
  
***  
  
It was around three days later that I regained consciousness. The doctor told me that the knife had cut through several muscles, and though it would heal, there was a chance that I would always walk with a limp. I would have none of it, and managed to slide out of bed before I fell to the floor. The doctor helped me up and gave me a pair of crutches. "I'd suggest you use these."  
  
"Never!" I said, and dragged myself out of there, pulling myself by my hands. I honestly don't know why I refused. Maybe being in this time had rubbed off on me. I was resting up from my exertion, leaning on the side, when I heard a very familiar voice.  
  
"Elizabeth!" Horatio said quietly. I turned around. Horatio was smiling at me, one arm in a sling, the other behind his back.  
  
"Mr. Hornblower! I trust you recovered from the ordeal with Simpson?" I said, noticing with some surprise that I was not blushing. Horatio nodded silently, then noticed my leg. "You refused the crutches?" He asked.  
  
"They're ugly as Simpson! I wouldn't be caught dead with them."  
  
"How about with this?" Horatio took his hand out from behind his back. His fingers were wrapped around a magnificent walking-stick. The wood was a deep red, polished until it shone, and there was a golden handle for me to hold onto. I took it gently, placed it on the floor, and took a few steps, leaning on it heavily. It seemed to work, and I lifted my body and kept walking with it until it seemed that I hardly limped at all. I turned back to Horatio, a smile shining on my face. "How do I look?"  
  
He came to me, scrutinized me, then grinned. "You look like a real lady. Only a lady of the Queen's court could look so dignified."  
  
Now I blushed, but this time it was rightly so. "Yes, well...thank you, Mr. Hornblower." I said.  
  
"Please, milady," Horatio said quietly, "Call me Horatio."  
  
"What?" I said, aghast, "But I am a woman, and you're a near stranger to me! It is a sign of respect to call you Mr. Hornblower!"  
  
"In public, perhaps." Horatio murmured in my ear, placing his hand on my back and leading me back to the side of the ship, "But in private, Horatio will do. I know you want to call me that. I even heard you say it back on the island. Please, as a favor."  
  
I hesitated, looked into those beautiful brown eyes, and any thoughts of saying no vanished. "All right, Horatio, if that's what you want." It felt wonderful to say his first name. It made me feel like we were equals.  
  
Horatio nodded, and removed his hand from my back. "I was looking for you." He said in his normal voice. "Natalie and Lia are waiting for you in your quarters. You've been invited to dinner by Pellew, if you feel up to it."  
  
"With this walking stick, I'm up to anything." I said, smiling. Horatio nodded again. "It was my father's walking stick. He thought I should have it. And now, you need it more than I. Keep it as a gift. A thank you for saving my life."  
  
Man, this guy was fast. He had justified everything I was going to say. I shrugged my shoulders and prepared to move on, but paused. "Horatio."  
  
Horatio, who likewise had been moving away, turned back. "Yes, Elizabeth?"  
  
"Thank you for saving my life, back there on the island."  
  
Horatio said nothing, merely smiled. I took this as a "You're welcome" and moved towards my quarters. But our conversation kept replaying in my head. My back tingled where Horatio had touched it. God, I'm becoming obsessed, I thought. As always, whenever I tried to sort out my feelings, I began to sing.  
  
"Here I am,  
  
On a ship full of strangers  
  
I'm standing on the deck  
  
But only friends can reach me  
  
Still, I have to follow you  
  
Though you might not want me to  
  
I can't keep my mind off you  
  
I can't stay away!!!  
  
I've been too long  
  
On this ship of war  
  
I'm singing a love song  
  
Hoping it might reach your heart now  
  
But I'll sing this song  
  
On this ship of war  
  
I'll keep close to you  
  
Cause I know you'll protect me, dear."  
  
I had reached the stairs to go below. I continued down, still singing.  
  
"But as I try,  
  
To get inside your mind frame  
  
You put up a shield  
  
How long will it stand between us?  
  
Still I'm going to follow you,  
  
Though you might not want me too  
  
I won't stop till I know you  
  
I can't stay away!!!  
  
I've been too long  
  
On this ship of war  
  
I'm singing a love song  
  
Hoping it might reach your heart now  
  
But I'll sing this song  
  
On this ship of war  
  
I'll keep close to you  
  
Cause I know you'll protect me, dear.  
  
I smiled to myself, then pushed open the door.  
  
(c)The Begees 


End file.
